What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
