I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
