____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Quick, to the slutcave!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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