I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
