mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
