just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
