I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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