Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
