We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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