I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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