Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
