went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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