NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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