checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize