I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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