now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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