U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
