He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
