I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
