So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize