some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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