Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
People in love make me want to vomit
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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