My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dick very happy bro
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
