Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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