I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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