So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
