i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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