Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
