CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
