she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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