we made out on top of his cat.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have fence marks all over my body
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize