I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
