I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
