i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
