Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
