I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
