his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
