How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
