so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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