How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wear drunk well.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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