If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
