are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
