Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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