I wish I only lived at night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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