how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
