In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Come share oat with me in your robe
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
