Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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