she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
