My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I wish you could order shots online.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
