At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
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Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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