why didn't you poke me back
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
