bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
