I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
