theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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