my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Randomize
