just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
