worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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