Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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