It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
