we have officially lost it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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